


Stars and Crowns

by girlwithacrown



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Domestic Violence, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Homophobia, M/M, Marauders, Remus is tall Sirius is small, Secrets, Stalking, Strangers to Lovers, Swearing, Tattoo Artist Sirius Black, basically i wrote this to deal with my dental anxiety, dentist Remus Lupin, depictions of, no peter, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-08
Updated: 2019-11-08
Packaged: 2021-01-25 12:03:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21355966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwithacrown/pseuds/girlwithacrown
Summary: "Still talking about Remus, then?" Lily munched away on a piece of carrot, agonizing Sirius with her displayed uninterest.He threw her a stern look, pouting his lips: "It was a very emotional day for me."Lily had had years to get used to Sirius' over-the-top displays of drama and James' ridiculous schemes, but she also knew when there was some truth to it."So, he really caught you off guard?""Finally, you understand my struggle, I got it bad.""I thought, since he's a dentist and all, that you would be extremely turned off by his profession.""I mean, I guess you could think that. But you have seen him, right?"
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 33
Kudos: 202
Collections: Wolfstar/Drarry/Scorbus





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my dental anxiety and how it could be turned into a lovestory.
> 
> thanks to my beats [fleursowl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fleursowl/pseuds/fleursowl) and [Pandaburger14](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pandaburger14/pseuds/Pandaburger14) <3 <3 <3

"Mr. Black, Doctor Lupin is now ready for you."

Sirius let out a whimpering growl.

"Please Jamie, don't make me go to the dentist! Pleaassee!" He shifted in his chair and grabbed James' hands.  
His best friend just sighed. "Sirius, we talked about this! You are in pain. You need to go through with this."  
"I am not, ahhh," Sirius wanted to downplay his toothache as he had been doing for days, but at the same time, a lightning bolt of agony shivered through his molar.  
"Mr. Black?" The dentist's assistant stepped next to them, her long, blonde waves making her look like an angel. "Is everything ok here? Are you ready?"  
Sirius exhaled, but he could not bring himself to move.  
James kneeled to reach his eye-level. "Look, I promise they will not do anything before checking with you. I heard he is one of the best when it comes to people who are afraid..."  
"I’m not afraid!"

James sighed, he had forgotten about the issue with this particular wording for a moment. His stern look met Sirius' watery eyes. "I just don't trust them!" Sirius' confession was barely a whisper but the assistant had caught on.  
"Doctor Lupin is specialized in treating people with dental anxiety - you are in capable hands, Mr. Black."  
Reluctantly, Sirius got up.  
"Are you ok, Pads? I can come with you."  
A smile appeared Sirius’ face. He did not want to cause any more of a scene, the other people waiting already had their eyes on him. "No, it's ok Prongs. Thanks for sacrificing your lunch break."  
"Call me after," with this, James hugged his best friend.  
"Yeah, will do. Send Lily my best."  
The assistant opened the door leading to the treatment room and shoved Sirius carefully inside.

"Doctor Lupin will be with you in a minute. Would you like to fill out our anxiety sheet?"  
Sirius was overwhelmed with the smell of disinfectant and wished he had not sent away James. Of course, at times he was a real bastard, but a bastard Sirius knew he could trust his life with. They had been best friends ever since their first day in school, as close as brothers even, and he had seen the worst of Sirius.  
Without knowing what he was doing, he took the form the assistant was handing him. His eyes lingered at her name tag. "Thank you, Marlene."  
He kept on doing this when he was nervous, calling people by their first name with a much too intimate tone. She smiled and closed the door behind her, leaving Sirius to wait for the doctor to arrive.  
Now alone, Sirius placed himself in the dentist chair, not wanting to sit on the large patient lounger that faced the instrument table.  
He looked down at the sheet of paper. It was a basic questionnaire, beginning with the question: "I would describe my anxiety level" and then a scale from 1 to 10. He sighed and circled the 7.  
"I would describe my trust in dentists." Without thinking, Sirius checked the box next to the 1.  
"I am uncomfortable with having my mouth examined/touched" - was that a joke? No of course not that was a very real problem for some people apparently. But not for Sirius, he actually laughed a little when checking the 1, thinking about all the delicious ways a mouth could be examined.  
As he had told James, it was not that he was afraid of dentists or even the procedures but he just did not trust the dentists with ... anything. Being at the dentist's office just brought back bad memories.

Maybe, if he was fast, he could get out of here. He still had some heavy painkillers stashed from his latest rugby accident. If they were good enough for a dislocated shoulder, they would surely cure some stupid toothache. Sirius disregarded the last questions on the form and got up. He checked himself in the mirror, his dark hair in a messy ponytail, his eyes circled by shadows that bared witness of the pain he was in and the sleep deprivation it had caused. He knew it was irrational, but something in his mind told him to get out of the office and deal with the pain all by himself.

But when he reached the door, he could hear voices coming towards the other side. Employing his trained reflexes, he hurled himself on the lounger facing the other side of the room.  
"Thank you, Marlene."  
"Sure, Remus. I will be with Alice until she wakes up."  
Sirius could not see the man entering the room, but the panic that pressed him into the chair like a heavy weight slightly lifted at the sound of the gentle and, in fact, quite appealing voice that reached his ear.  
"Sorry for the delay, Mr. Black"  
The doctor moved to stand next to him and Sirius could feel his body tense, this time not out of anxiety, but because the doctor was utterly gorgeous.  
"Mr. Black, everything okay?"  
Sirius silver eyes met those amber-colored ones, making out the concerned look that spanned over the doctor's face.  
He barely managed to whisper a “Hi".  
"I see that you filled out the anxiety form". The dentist pulled himself a chair and let himself sink in, to meet his patient's eyes.  
"You can relax, we will go through it together and you can tell me what brought you here today".  
Usually, Sirius would have reacted badly to a stranger telling him to relax. But he was still occupied by the fact that Doctor Lupin was absolute eye-candy.  
He lifted himself to sit on the lounger and face him. Their knees were almost touching and Sirius tried to smile to match the dentist's gentle look. His eyes caressed over the doctor. He was not the nightmarish ghoul Sirius had imagined in his anxious daydreams. The brown curls framed his well-defined face and although he had a prominent scar cutting through his soft skin and freckles, this took nothing away from his stunning looks. A bit lean maybe.  
Thank God, Doctor Lupin seemed to take his staring for some form of anxious reaction to him being a dentist and what must be an uncomfortable situation for his patient. He was used to it. Many of his patients had bad experiences with members of his profession and he was trained to handle all sorts of traumas in this regard. Even more than that, he, on some level, understood the anxiety people could face in an uncomfortable situation.

Sirius' eyes wandered over the white coat and the plain blue jersey underneath and came to rest in the nametag on the dentist's chest: "Remus Lupin". What a name, he thought to himself, almost as ridiculous as his own.  
"So, Mr. Black," Remus paused to see if he had the patient's full attention. "I can see you have reservations against dentists." Sirius' head jerked up to meet the amber eyes. Their expression was neutral, to say the least, no sign of hurt feelings or ridicule.  
"I can assure you, Mr. Black, that I will double-check every step we take from here onwards." Sirius' mouth felt dry all of a sudden, as his mind wandered down a path that was marked by consent - definitely a path that had nothing to do with a doctor-patient relationship.  
He nodded, trying to banish these thoughts from his mind. But, thinking about it, maybe this was the only thing helping him to go through with the appointment. If he could just pretend they knew each other, a bit of flirting on the side. It seemed to do the trick with his clients at least.  
This thought in mind, Sirius loosened his ponytail and let his hair down. He knew that he did not look his best today; but self-conscious about his fitness as he was, he also knew that he was absolutely handsome even on his worst days.  
The dentist did not seem to notice though. His expression did not change at all, but still only displayed an understanding and reassuring look.  
"You did not fill out the form entirely. Would you like to go through the other questions?"  
Sirius nodded solemnly.  
"I can see that needles will not be an issue for you?" The dentist's eyes rested on the tattoos that inked Sirius' skin from where it was not covered by his shirt. Sirius nodded, his eyes beaming under the look.  
"Have you experienced any trauma in your past?"  
Sirius sighed, "I don't think we know each other well enough to speak about my traumas, Remus." Sirius' mouth formed into a smile.  
But Remus Lupin was not that easily startled. "Dental traumas? Did you experience any injuries to your teeth or jaw I should know about?"  
Brushing the doctor's knees, Sirius leaned forward, deliberately grinning. "Basically my front is all crowns, Remus," he sing-sang.  
Instead of withdrawing from the situation, the doctor moved in, deliberately invading his client's private space even more, to take a look at the exposed whites. "Ah yes, I see. Remarkable work."  
Sirius rolled his eyes in response, something Remus totally missed because he was still fixed on his patient's teeth.

After a second, Remus shifted back into his chair and broke the connection between their knees. Sirius closed his mouth, tracing his tongue over his crowns. Something he did every so often when he was aware of the shiny intruders.  
"So what brings you here today? Miss McKinnon took down a note about pain in the right bottom molar?"  
The level of sincerity and professionalism Remus Lupin displayed towards the situation, including to Sirius' outlandish flirting, just encouraged him to go on. Sirius was well known for the fact that he could flirt himself out of and into every situation and he was very proud of that.  
"Actually, my best friend brought me here."  
Remus knew this strategy, he had to deal with patients try to stretch out the time every day. "A yes, James. Good to have such friends. Tell Lily my best when you see her." He did not give Sirius any time to answer. "Can I take a look now? I won't do anything; I will just take a look."  
There were so many questions swirling around Sirius’ mind. Lily knew this hottie and she never said anything to him?  
Remus got up, putting on some latex gloves and lifting the mask over his well defined chin.  
"Remus..." Sirius still had reservations, but he also liked the idea of the handsome doctor leaning over him.  
"Mr. Black, I will just take a look, nothing more.''  
Defeated, Sirius moved his legs to lie on the lounger and dutifully opened his mouth. He closed his eyes in reflex but opened them again immediately, just to meet the eyes of the dentist catching the light. He could not prevent the smile from appearing on his face.  
"You need to open your mouth a bit wider, Mr. Black."  
"Please, call me Sirius. Mr. Black is my father.” He fully closed his mouth to make a point.  
"Okay, Sirius. Now, please." Remus still showed no sign of annoyance or hurry.  
Satisfied with this, Sirius opened his mouth, but kept his eyes open to follow the elegant, gloved fingers as they reached for his mouth. The way the handsome doctor had said his name made him wish they could share a drink and chat rather than being trapped in the clean treatment room that reeked of suppressed memories. A happy-hour drink, when the bar was so packed that there was no telling if you stood so close deliberately, but it sure felt good.

A sudden pain went through Sirius' mouth and he jolted upwards, being brought back to reality. Remus calm hand caught his shoulder and gently pressed him back into the seat. "Just a second."  
He retrieved his gloved fingers and in the same motion put down his mask.  
"Remus, how bad is it? Do you need to amputate?" After the outburst, Sirius had found back to his usual charming self.  
"Mr. Black..."  
"Sirius"  
"Yes, Sirius. It's nothing to worry about. It seems like the neighboring crown has created a sulcus next to the molaris and that is why you are in pain."  
"A sulcus?"  
"Yes, a gingival sulcus," hearing dentist-mac-sexy speak Latin was more intriguing than Sirius could have found possible.  
"We will do an x-ray and see how bad the inflammation is," with these words Remus stripped the gloves from his hands. "Okay?"  
Sirius nodded, trying to banish the thought of Remus' fingers in his mouth from his mind for a second.  
Remus was occupied with signing off the patient chart but added: "You will need to remove the piercing."  
"All of them?", Sirius set up his best signature Black grin. Wasted it, as it turned out. Since the doctor had not even looked at him, but just dryly noted: "Just the one in your mouth, Mr..." He noticed his mistake right away, "Sirius."


	2. Chapter 2

"Lily-sh, why didn't you tell-sh me that u know-sh such a hott-sh-i?"  
Lily was confused and took another glimpse on her mobile's screen. "Sirius?"  
"Siriusly-sh?!"  
"WHY are you talking like this?" She asked, struggling to hold back a soft laugh.  
"Local-sh anaesthetics-h"  
"Oh, you went to see Remus! That's cool. Really brave. How is he?"  
"He i-sh super hot, that-sh what he is!"  
This time Lily could not stop herself from laughing out loud. "Yeah sure! Hey if you are fine, don't forget to call James. He has been acting like a mother hen again."  
"Yeah sh-ure. Don't sh-ange the topic tho…"  
"Okay, Sirius I have to go, bye."  
And with that, she had hung up.

Sirius' cheek was still numb, but in the end, it had not been as bad as he had feared. The pain in his jaw had not been, as he would have believed, all his teeth turning against him, but a mild tissue infection. Remus had cleaned it, making sure to talk his anxious patient down by explaining to him the different steps. (Sirius, obviously only listening to his voice, daydreaming about snogging his stupid mask off). Now, he just had to take some antibiotics, (Remus' idea) drink sage tea, (Sirius' idea) AND get the cute dentist to agree to go on a date with him. Therefore, he needed as many insights as possible.  
Of course, he still was furious that Lily, and when he came to think about it, potentially James, had hidden the fact that they knew such a good looking, charming man. Plus they at least could have warned him, so he would have had a chance to look more like his best and less like he had looked today.  
He called James and invited himself to have chicken soup cooked for him at James and Lily's place. James had started to learn to cook at some point to woo Lily and he had gotten amazing at it. Also, anything was better than the empty fridge in Sirius flat and he still was shaken from 1. Confronting a reasonable and suppressed fear and 2. Meeting the love of his life (that's what he called it in his head).

"A school bus?"  
"A sulcus ... a gingival sulcus. But you are missing the point, James."  
Sirius was leaning on the counter, watching James cutting carrots.  
"He is gorgeous. Like never-seen-before-gorgeous and you did not tell me that. You lied to me!" Sirius was known for getting a bit over dramatic from time to time (= most of the time = a lot = very often = on a daily basis and about anything).  
James concentrated even harder on his carrots when they heard the sound of someone unlocking the front door, and soon after Lily strolled into the kitchen.  
"Oh thank God you are here. Save me before I drown in Sirius' drool!" James caught Lily in a drastic embrace, gulping imagined water from his lungs.  
Sirius just rolled his eyes over the bad acting and leaned over the counter to kiss Lily hello.  
"Still talking about Remus, then?" Lily munched away on a piece of carrot, agonizing Sirius with her displayed uninterested.  
He threw her a stern look, pouting his lips: "It was a very emotional day for me."  
Lily had had years to get used to Sirius' over-the-top displays of drama and James' ridiculous schemes, but she also knew when there was some truth to it.  
She swallowed the last of the carrot and hugged Sirius. "So, he really caught you off guard?"  
The raven-haired man let out a growl. "Finally, you understand my struggle, I got it bad."  
"I thought, since he's a dentist and all, that you would be extremely turned off by his profession." Lily shrugged her shoulders and started to put out some bowls and spoons.  
"I mean, I guess you could think that. But you have seen him, right? HE IS AMAZING LOOKING and HE IS CHARMING AS FUCK!"

James had left the stove, where the soup was cooking on its own and was listing in closely; he had never heard his best friend speak about someone like that. Normally, he just got together with whoever was praising him the most, simply being flattered into beds and relationships. Sirius himself was very aware of this, but his motto was: "I like whoever likes me best."  
It had always been like this, and it was no wonder either, since Sirius' childhood was not exactly filled with love and praise, quite the contrary, in fact.  
"Sirius, are those the pain-killers speaking?"  
"You should have seen him, acting all business while I was flirting his ears off."  
Lily almost dropped the spoons: "Oh no, please tell me you did not?"  
But Sirius nodded solemnly. "Called him by his first name and everything."  
"James!" Her voice carrying blame, "I told you should not leave him alone in there!"  
Sirius turned to her, "He was very gentle and I was not afraid!"  
"I think she was referring to Remus, mate!"  
"Yes I was, wait, no.... both," Lily's expression darkened.  
"This is exactly why I did not want you two to meet."  
"Wait, what?" Now Sirius was confused, a little bit of inappropriate flirting usually did no harm.  
"I knew that you'd either shame him for his profession or would drool over his nice face."  
"So you also think he has a nice face!"  
"This is not the point."  
"OMG, were you two a thing?"  
"Don't be daft Sirius, he's gay."  
"He is?" Sirius had managed to kick down the bar chair he had been leaning against.  
"Also not the point. James, can you help me?"  
James had rather enjoyed watching his two loved ones bickering, but he could see that this was going nowhere unless he intervened.  
"Sirius," his best friend was giving him the "Don't you dare to take her side" look.  
"Sirius ... I think I have to be with Lily on this one. We don't know him how Lily does, they went to school together, grew up together. Trust her on this."

Sirius threw his hands in the air. "I don't even know what you're getting at. Am I'm not allowed to ease my dental anxiety by flirting with my hot dentist? We're both adults."  
Lily and James looked at each other. "What? He did not even get all of my subtleties."

Lily knew that Sirius was a helpless case. He wanted to be liked and of course, he was 100% certain that he could get away with anything. "Remus is a nice guy. He would never tell an anxious patient that their behavior…” She trailed off, probably deciding to change her respone. "Sirius, you know what, just accept that not everyone is on this world is bound to worship you."  
The silver eyes darted to her. Lily was not a cruel person. It was true that sometimes her words were burning like salt on an open wound - she was direct and dead honest, always had been. Sirius decided that if she was using his greatest weakness on him, there must be a reason, something she was not ready to let slip.  
"I guess I could apologize when I see him for the check-up..."  
James smiled softly, enjoying that Sirius had understood the meaning behind Lily's, admittedly harsh, words, and had not taken them the wrong way. But you could see that the fierce ginger was not 100% convinced.  
"Nothing over the top, okay? No flowers."  
Sirius rolled his eyes in response, but smiled. Of course, he would apologize, if that was what he needed to do to get the handsome dentist to go out with him.  
"Does he like chocolate then?"  
"Soup is almost finished- a round of Mario Kart before?" James' proposal prevented any more comments from Lily. Either way, a plan already had formed in Sirius' mind.


	3. Chapter 3

"Doctor Lupin." One week later Sirius was sitting in the plain examination room. He looked his best today, freshly shaven, his olive skin glowing, his dark hair framing his sharp cheekbones. He was wearing his lucky shirt, a black tee with white speckles that made it look like a galaxy spanned around his chest; his tattoos on his chest and arms hidden underneath. The black skinny jeans clinging to his narrow hips.  
Was he mistaken, or was there a short second in which the doctor's eyes expressed surprise?  
"Mr. Black! I hope you are feeling well today!"  
Sirius smiled, showing off his crowns: "Everything's back to normal."  
Doctor Lupin gestured towards the lounger and Sirius lied down without a flinch.  
The examination was over quickly, and to say that Sirius was disappointed by this would be an understatement. He enjoyed the pressure of the dentist's hands on his face, even though the gloves robbed Sirius the sensation of Remus' bare skin. The small amount of breath that breached his mask smelled like fresh mint mixed with a hint of dark chocolate.

Remus leaned back, "Siri-, ahm Mr. Black, perfect, we are finished. No further appointment necessary." He stripped out of his gloves and dunked them into the wastebasket that stood a good 3 meters away.  
Sirius looked at him in amazement. Holy shit, he honestly had to stop being so goddamn attractive, otherwise Sirius undoubtedly would lose his cool for real. "Nice shot, Doctor Lupin. You play?"  
He asked before he could stop himself. According to his plan, he was supposed to not ask any intimate questions before he had gotten the chance to apologize for his behavior last week. Remus mouth twitched, fluctuating between a frown and a shy smile, "No, not anymore."

Following his own rules, Sirius asked nothing further. Remus got up. This was Sirius' last chance.  
"Doctor?"  
Remus turned around, one brow raised - his face forming a question mark.  
"Mr. Black?"  
"I just wanted to say that I am deeply sorry about last week. I wasn't really myself."  
Sirius had not strictly taken Lily's advice, rather the opposite, he indeed had bought some flowers and chocolates, now concealed under the jacket he had hidden behind a nearby chair. He wanted to see how his apology played out first, before overwhelming the man completely.

The questioning eyebrow did not settle back into its place, but rather went up even higher. "I came to understand that you were, in fact, very much yourself." There was a smile dangling from his lips, vague, maybe a bit apologetic.  
Of course Lily had talked to him.  
But Sirius was not ready to be defeated so easily. "Either way, I am sorry. I didn't want to make a bad first impression." He added casually; thinking how very smooth he could be.  
Remus eyebrow finally settled back in its usual straight line, but he did not reply.  
"I thought, perhaps, you would want to get a drink sometime?" Sirius' voice was doubtful. Since when was he such a coward when it came to asking someone out? But then, of course, Remus was not just anyone.

"I am sorry, Mr. Black, but I really can't go for drinks with a patient." His response was polite, as always, but Sirius was not used to being rejected, not even in a polite way. Usually, he was the one politely rejecting.  
So he did the only thing that seemed rational. Sirius stepped forward, shaking his black hair in an unsure gesture. "See, but I am not your patient anymore."

The look Remus was throwing him was not easily interpreted. It seemed to be something between amusement and doubt. "I don't want to be responsible for you losing your trusted dentist."  
Sirius let out a small laugh. He was funny and beautiful and so fucking polite.  
"I have severe dental anxiety; I will not come in for regular checks anyhow, not even to see you. So Thursday?"  
He tried to play it cool, but his fingernails were digging into the back of his thigh.

"I am sorry, Sirius, I can't."  
The sudden break of the playful politeness threw Sirius off, even more so the definite rejection.  
He tried to hide his disappointment for another 5 minutes, just long enough to get out of the dentist's office. "Okay, sorry again." He turned, grabbing his leather jacket and accidentally tilting the big model of a set of teeth. He caught it quickly, but still, the many small pieces almost escaped his grasp. A set of hands came flying to help him, stabilizing the model as a whole, and brushing their fingers together in the process. When their eyes met, Sirius was glad that his hands were trapped under the ones of the doctor; otherwise, he would have dropped the model. It was as if the light brown eyes with green flecks were a source of light by themselves.  
Remus chuckled lightly. "This happens all the time, I will reassemble it later." He carefully let go of Sirius' hands, who set down the pieces down on the white, shiny surface.

Sirius felt as disarranged as the teeth model. How could this gorgeous, gay man not want to go out with him? He had stormed out of the office, wishing he would have taken his bike today, just so he could lose himself in the speed and wind. But he had been too considerate of his hair that day and so he was stuck in the metro, along with his thoughts. It took him 3 stations to realize that he had forgotten about the flowers and the chocolate and had left them right there when he grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the dentist's examination room. Sirius cringed at the thought. Well, at least they were not wasted. And it was not as if he would be seeing Remus any time soon.

"James, I just don't understand what I did wrong." Sirius was half yelling over the buzz of the tattoo gun. "Did I not look my absolute best today? Did I not put on my most dashing smile for him? For goodness sake, I literally drooled all over him..." James was half listening, filling out the lines on his client's inner thigh.  
"Don't you have any appointments today?" he wished his best friend would have something to do other than standing in the way and moping about a dude.  
"I rescheduled."  
"Then do some paperwork."  
"You do some paperwork."  
Irrational as always.  
The handsome man under James grip let out a small whimper as the needle met the dark, soft skin in the most inner circle of his thigh.  
"Told you it's a rough spot, Kingsley." Sirius chuckled. A friend in self-inflicted pain always lifted his mood.  
The handsome man lifted his head to meet the silver eyes. "Sounds to me that you need to get laid, mate."  
"Do I have a volunteer?" Sirius could not let the chance for a sexy come-back escape.  
Kingsley barked out a laugh in return. "No thanks, I don't do pity fucks."  
James stretched out his free hand in a warning, as Sirius was about to joke-attack. "No! Bad dog!"

Sirius could not control his moping and James finally agreed to a beer after work.  
"Lily's on board. Three Broomsticks?"  
Sirius looked up from his sketch he had finally settled to work on and immediately agreed. He felt like a night out with his best friends would be a better cure for his heartache than to follow Kingsley's advice to fuck the next stranger willing to play along.

James and Sirius had settled into their usual spot in the back of the bar and were already halfway through their first round, when Lily showed up. Only, she was not alone.  
"Look who I ran into?" her smile gave nothing away, but Remus looked like he was a bit unsure whether it was a good idea to be here.  
Sirius almost collapsed from the seat and then tipped his beer dangerously as he grappled onto the table to stabilize himself. "Hi," he said breathlessly, as all air had formerly left his lungs.  
"Remus, I think you met James once before right?"  
Remus and James both nodded knowingly and shook hands. "And of course, you know Sirius." Remus waved towards him, in what Sirius thought was the most ridiculous, cute, dorky manner and Lily pressed him down in the seat across from Sirius.

James left to order a round of drinks and Lily kept just talking about her day at the clinic. Normally, Sirius loved the stories about the day to day business of the dermatologist, but today he found himself only half listening, preoccupied by the presence of the handsome dentist. He, of course, was no longer wearing his white coat and had changed into dark green jeans and a mustard colored tee.  
Pretending to listen to Lily, his eyes wandered over Remus... why oh why did he make such a fool of himself today?

As James returned to the table, Remus had begun to talk about his day, generously leaving out the bit that Sirius had been his patient. Most of it was dentist talk and Sirius tried not listening too hard. He felt a bit uneasy around the subject as it was and he knew from Lily how doctors loved describing the most painful details.  
"But a crazy thing happened. Someone forgot a full bouquet and a box of chocolate in the examination room."  
Sirius' attention immediately snapped back to the conversation and Lily's eyes were narrowing in his direction. If James also had caught on, hr was not showing it, his face neutral. "And you don't know who brought them or who they were for?" James' voice was only appropriately curious.  
"I didn't even see them until I dropped a dental mirror with my last patient and there was no card."  
Sirius heart rate began to steady a bit. "What did you do?"  
It was the first time Remus directly looked at him since he had sat down, he shrugged: "Marlene put the flowers in the front and watered them, I guess. I definitely ate the chocolate." Sirius had to force himself not to ask if he had liked it, so he sat there not replying and his eyes twitching - a look that definitely called for a defensive reaction.  
"It was Belgian and expensive."  
Sirius still had no reply for him.  
"What, would you have done something differently?"  
Sirius smirked at him. "Nothing." He laughed his irresistible signature laugh and Remus' eyes seemed to catch the spark and light up.

Lily and James had drifted off in their own conversation (something about a new study on human skin and tissue healing). At first, Remus and Sirius had listened, politely interested, but they kept on going and Remus had turned to him. "Are they always like this?"  
Sirius lifted an eyebrow. "Utterly in love, a bit disgusting, or skin nerds?"  
Remus laugh was like chocolate, rich and a bit dark. "Yes."

His laugh thinned out and there was an uncomfortable silence that crept between them. They both began to talk at the same time and laughed it out. To prevent it from happening a second time, Remus gestured that Sirius should start.  
Unease with the tension Sirius felt compelled to repeat his apology from earlier in the day. "I'm sorry..." but Remus stopped him.  
"Please don't."  
Sirius looked at his hands that he stress-tangled together. "So it's ok that I'm here?"

Remus' hand jolted towards Sirius', but he stopped himself before he could reach him.  
"Just because I ca-", he paused to rephrase his words. "Just because I did not agree to get drinks with you, does not mean we can't hang out with our common friends." A reassuring smile sprang from his lips, a smile that Sirius could do nothing else than to mirror.

It had been a wonderful evening. And, as far as Sirius was concerned, this was a problem, a big problem. He had learned that Remus was not only handsome and charming, but also intelligent and undeniable funny and not short of a comeback, not even with Lily. He knew his rock classics, but did not judge Sirius when he confessed his love for the drama of pop and soul queens. He was adorable when he talked about his favorite books, brushing through his curls when he was particularly excited about one that Sirius had also read. And, judging from his reaction to James' dramatic retelling of how he conquered Lily, he was a hopeless romantic. "So basically you tried to tattoo yourself with poisonous pigments and she saved your life?" Yeah, Sirius could clearly hear how impressed he was by this.

If it had been a date, it would have been great, but it hadn't been, and therefore, it was bad. Really bad. There was no promise of another meeting, no exchange of telephone numbers, no hug goodbye, not even a handshake.

So when Sirius fell into his bed that night, he tried to shut away the thoughts of the dentist's gentle laughs, his lean fingers, and his fit shape. Of course, Kingsley had been right when he said there was only one thing that could be done about his situation.


	4. Chapter 4

"Of course, Kingsley is right,'' Sirius reminded himself as he looked in the mirror before heading to the club the next evening. It was one of the only spots he liked to hit by himself. James did not mind going to the gay bars in the city, but this was a different thing. It wasn't a swinger club in its original meaning, but there was a consensus about what you wanted if you went there. A cheap and easy hookup spot without the need of any prior app downloads, swipes, and waits - just a place to find a fuck.

The doorman immediately let Sirius in without further questions, his inked eye gleaming from under his big brows. "Still looking good, Mad-Eye." Already flirting and he hadn't even walked through the door. The doorman snorted with a grin, "Never gets old." Sirius ducked through the entrance beneath a big neon sign, depicting a flaming bird, and immediately felt the vibrant atmosphere soothing his feelings. Ever since he and James had moved to the city to flee the pedestrian life of the countryside, this had been the place to hunt for a one-night-stand. Sirius loved the anonymity of the metropolis life, not having people stare at him and whisper behind his back about broken family ties and lost wealth.

At the bar, Sirius was greeted with a gin and tonic, handed to him by one of the stunning bartenders. The all-female crew was a precaution to prevent the staff from running off with a patron instead of doing their job. "Dorcas! Angel!" The bartender smiled at him. "If it isn't my favorite tattoo artist! Feeling lonely tonight?"  
Sirius had to remind himself that this evening was about getting over his recent troubles and not indulging in them. So instead of bursting into his love life gossip, he sipped on his drink and tried for a dashing smile. The bartender just laughed it off and let him stand there to attend to another guest.

The club slowly filled with men of all ages. Sirius was following his habits - observe and strike as fast as possible. This allowed him to look like he was waiting for someone and not be approached too often. Two polite rejections and two gin and tonics later, his eyes darted to the door that led to the restrooms. He had not seen the guy enter the club, but now he wondered how he could have escaped his sight.  
The man maybe was not as fit as Remus, but he was close enough. He was tall and his short, dark hair framed his handsome features. He must have felt Sirius' stare on him because with the precision of a bloodhound, the figure crossed the room. "Hey, stranger. Wanna grab a drink?"  
Two drinks later and the man, his name something like Filip or Felix, Sirius could not remember, had wrapped his hands around his waist. The club was now buzzing with men and it felt good to be wanted. It felt good to have him whispering dirty words into his ear. It felt good to be held tight.  
"Wanna get out of here?" Sirius was feeling the four drinks and he had grown considerably horny.  
A smile spans across the man's face, for a short second stretching his pretty face into a too-wide grin. "Maybe we could cut this short?" His hands were pushing Sirius toward the restroom at the back of the club.

This was not how Sirius wanted this to go down. But, he knew that he did not have the energy left to start with another dude from square one. This guy was handsome, he was here, and he was not ashamed of telling him what he wanted. A bit nervous, Sirius was pushed past the "no fucking in the toilet" sign that had been plastered on the restroom door. Rather than leading him through the door, the man pushed him further to the emergency exit door leading to the alley behind the club.

Already kissing with the full force of two horny adults, they pushed the door open just to hear a muffled sound from the other side. Whatever they had hit, they stumbled over it, Sirius' upper body crashing onto the rough bricks of the pavement.

Over him, he saw the red face of Mad-Eye turning to an even darker shade: "You!" Bewildered by the rage of his friend, Sirius poised himself to yell back. But before he could do anything a fist was flying in his direction, striking his hook-up directly on the nose.  
"We told you what would happen if we ever set foot in this club again! Now fuck off, Greyback! Or I will call the police."  
The man pulled himself up from the dirty alley ground, smirking at both the doorman and Sirius, whose face was still marked by absolute surprise. "Tell Remus my best." and then he took off.


	5. Chapter 5

"How did he even get in here?", Dorcas was furious.  
"Picked the lock of the emergency entrance." Mad-Eye still looked like he could murder someone on the spot. "Are you ok, Sirius?"  
"Honestly, I have no idea what happened back there.."  
Dorcas was giving out a second round of tequila shots in the small office space in the back of the bar. "You can thank Mad-Eye that he basically saved you from a lunatic because that is exactly what happened.''  
Sirius frowned at her, surely she was just over exaggerating. But the bartender ignored his look and downed her shot. "I don't have time for this... Mad-Eye, tell the girls I will be right back. I need to check on Marlene. I still think we should call the police. This must be a violation of his parole."  
Mad-eye shrugged: "You know damn well that some of our guests are not too keen to be documented in our club. Last time it took us months to gain back their trust."  
All the while, Sirius stood there dumb founded.  
Dorcas flipped her hands in the air. "Just talk to Dumbledore about it. The Phoenix is his fucking club and people need to be safe here. They need to know that they come here to get fucked, not to get stalked by a creep."

The brunette turned her heel and stormed out of the small room, grabbing her helmet and jacket as she left.  
Sirius pressed the ice pack towards his side that had hit the pavement earlier, imagining the bruised pattern under his shirt. "You're still bleeding," he pointed at the cut the heavy security door had left on Mad-Eye's temple. Unperturbed, Mad-Eye took another tissue and drenched it with vodka before wiping the wound. "You can call yourself lucky that my head is as hard as it is. Anyone else and that damn door would have knocked them unconscious and I'd rather not imagine what would have happened to you then."  
Sirius took the bottle Mad-Eye was handing to him, checking for any signs of temple-blood before taking a sip of vodka. "What is the deal with this guy though?"  
Mad-Eye pinned his eyes on Sirius in disbelief. "I think it's best if you check on your friend."  
Mad-Eye had called the cab in which Sirius now headed home, still trying to reach his best friend. But, of course, James did not pick up. He was the kind of person who valued his sleep over everything else. So, at the time he unlocked his apartment door, Sirius was met by Lily's unnerved mutterling after she finally answered her phone.  
"What the fuck Sirius, You know that I start a weekend-shift tomorrow."  
He had thought about how he should go about it and decided the least creepy way would not be to ask for Remus number or address. Instead, he jumped straight to the point. "Can you call Remus and ask him if he is alright?"  
Lily's voice immediately sounded wide awake. "Why shouldn't he be ok?"  
There was no time for hesitation or talking around. "I was at the Phoenix and, in short, there was a guy and we made out and then he was thrown out, and apparently he's a lunatic and he mentioned Remus' name so I'm just checking ..."  
There was a harsh gasp at the other end of the line. "Greyback was there?"  
Sirius pressed his eyes closed, of course Lily knew about him. "Can you please check on him?" His voice, influenced by Lily's change, suddenly full of panic.  
"Yeah. Of course." Sirius could hear Lily ruffling through the bedding. "Are you ok, Sirius?"  
"Yeah, sure. Just make sure he is alright, yeah?"

It must have been 10 minutes, Sirius chain-smoking his secret tobacco stash he kept for emergencies when his phone lit up again. Without looking at his display he had answered the call, the phone pressed to his ear with one hand, with the other rolling another cigarette.  
"How is he?" the words reserved for Lily were out, without a greeting.  
There was a pause on the other side of the line.  
"Sirius?" a male voice asked.  
Sirius dropped his phone, an unknown number lurking from the display.  
"Sirius? Hello? It's Remus."  
He picked the phone up again.  
"Sorry, I thought Lily had called me back." The words leaving his mouth formed into an apology.  
"Yeah, I just talked with her. Dorcas just came home, so I know what happened. Are you ok?"

Remus' voice was filled with honest concern and Sirius had to swallow a thick knot of panic.  
"Yeah sure. I just wanted to make sure you are ok. I honestly don't even know what happened."  
Remus sighed. "Good. But you should not be alone tonight. Can you go to Lily and James' place?"  
Sirius shook his head and then, his drunken mind remembered that Remus could not see him and said: "No, really I am fine. I am at home and I will just go to sleep. Lil' needs to work tomorrow."  
There was another pause.  
"I really do need you to not be alone tonight."  
Sirius yawned into the phone, stripping out of his jeans.  
"Really I am fine. No worries. I'll just go to sleep."  
There were some muffled whispers on the other side of the line.  
"Sirius!" it wasn't Remus' soft voice anymore but Dorcas' recognizable snarl. "Be ready to go down in 10. I am getting you. Be a good boy and DON'T wait outside. He might have followed you home."

The night was still warm as Sirius found himself looking outside the window, searching the shadows for a hidden figure. He had put on another pair of jeans, but still had not managed to change out of his ripped shirt. He was occupied by gulping down some water and searching for his toothbrush when he heard the roar of a motorbike pulling into the parking lot in front of his building.  
Sirius was sitting behind Dorcas two minutes later as they hurtled down the freeway.  
The bike ride had sobered Sirius up a little, so it hit him with full awareness when Dorcas led him up to the small house on a nice street.  
Through a dark hallway, Dorcas walked him into a small living room, the blinds shut completely, the couch already transformed into an improvised bed.  
They had not actually talked and Sirius was not in the mood for anything else than to finally put the day behind him and sleep off the alcohol that was left in his body.  
With a knowing look, Dorcas handed him a glass of water and an aspirin. "It was a long night, let's talk tomorrow." With that, she waved him goodnight and was out of the room, just as another figure entered through the slim door.

"You need anything else?"  
For a short second Sirius did not recognize the dentist out of his dashing street clothes. Remus was wearing grey, baggy jogging pants, and an oversized green sweater. His face showed the undeniable effects of bad news, his eye sockets hollow in his slim face. His handsomeness was masked by troubles, but still, Sirius could feel a pull in his stomach.  
"Are you ok?" the question lingered between them and Sirius saw its potential to crush the other man. There was only one way to hold it back, to take it back or transform it into something else. Before he knew what he was doing, he was across the room, pulling Remus into a hug.  
The embraced body tensed at first, but relaxed a second later. He smelled nice, like dark chocolate and peppermint.  
It was the kind of hug that took too long to be a simple greeting. Sirius knew that he passed the time mark, but he was afraid to let the other man go. "I am so sorry, Sirius," Remus' voice was muffled by Sirius' hair and tears sticking in his throat.  
"Nothing happened. I'm alright." Sirius repeated the phrase he had spinning around his head since he left the Phoenix, trying to reassure him.  
"I know but I just can't wrap my head around what could have happened..."  
Sirius did not know, and he was glad not to. All he could do was keep holding Remus close. Not because Remus smelled fantastic, or because Sirius liked the way their bodies fit together, or how he was exactly the right height so he could rest his temple against his cheek. More than that, he was a friend of his friends, someone that by luck or misfortune somehow was entangled with him.  
A small squeeze made Sirius cough, as pain flared from his bruised ribs. Automatically, Remus let go of him. "I thought you said you are alright?"  
Sirius smiled apologetically. "Just some bruised ribs." doing the thing that Lily called "the manga-boy apology" where he lifted his arm and scratched the back of his head while smiling.

Remus buried his face in his hands for a moment before bringing them back down to his sides. "Let me have a look."  
Sirius knew it had been a long day for both of them. "Na, it's ok. I've had worse. '' But Remus' stern gaze did not falter and it was clear that he would not let this go. Maybe he was like Lily in this regard.

"For fuck sake! How drunk are you?"  
Sirius had not thought that Remus could swear like that. "Oh come on, it's just bruised."  
"Take it off," he was pulling the shirt back down over the injured side.  
Sirius looked at Remus wide-eyed.  
"For medical purposes only."  
As far as Sirius was concerned, this was all totally unnecessary. But as he saw his side reflected in the kitchen window, he understood why the dentist was worried. Apparently, his shirt must have rucked up as he tripped. His skin was not only bruised but there was a smattering of small scratches, as well as one big one and everything was smeared with the dirt of the road. Remus made him sit down on one of the kitchen chairs to inspect the wounds and remove small pieces of gravel as well as some splinters of glass stuck in the smaller wounds. He worked in silence and Sirius was stuck between falling asleep and thinking about the gentle hand that stabilized his body, pressed to his bare neck.

"Shit, maybe it's better if you take a quick shower. I don't like the look of this dirt. I will disinfect it after."  
"Yes, Doctor Lupin." He grabbed his bag, just to be reminded that he only brought an extra pair of boxers and his toothbrush...well that was it then.  
Remus guided him to a small bathroom, but instead of leaving him alone he entered with him. "You know, Remus, I think I can do this part on my own."  
Was Remus blushing?  
"Just wanted to give you a towel. Marlene would be pissed if you bled on one of hers."

The water running down his naked skin, although it stung in the open wounds, soothed the tension in his body a bit. What a strange night this was. He did not want Remus to wait for him too long, and the shower was further sobering him up, so he changed into his new boxers and moved to the kitchen.

"Jesus fucking Christ." The curse was merely an articulated breath out of Remus' mouth, when Sirius entered the room. Sirius snorted, he was well aware of how horrible he must look; all beat up, still half drunk and tired. So he just moved to stand there, his arm up in the air to give Remus access to his injuries. The burning was not half as bad as it was before they changed the formula. It used to be like pouring flames into open flesh, now Sirius only felt a cool tingling.

Then there was another smell: "This will help with the swelling. Is it ok if I apply it with my finger?" Sirius had not expected to be asked and his voice cracked a little when he answered, "Yes, of course." The slim fingers thoughtfully traced the bruising, carefully avoiding the open wounds that were already soaked with the red disinfectant.  
"I will just wrap it up, okay?" Remus' voice sounded sleepier than ever, as if he had to suppress a constant yawn. Sirius nodded and felt the rough fabric of the dressing enclosing around his rib-cage.  
He just sat there with his eyes closed, dizzy from the drinks he had had, and now slightly more dizzy from the other man's touch, and how his hair tingled on his skin when he moved around to wrap his upper body.

A hand came to rest on his chest and Sirius opened his eyes to meet those brown ones with the green sparkles.  
"Your tattoos are really quite beautiful."  
Sirius had to swallow. "James did most of them."  
The fingers still did not move away from the inked patterns lurking from beneath the bandage. "Remus?" Sirius saying his name seemed to break Remus' trance and his fingers snapped back, his eyes darting to his face with an expression of sadness.  
"I don't know what this guy did to you ..." the words had left Sirius' mouth before he could stop himself. But they were interrupted by foreign lips pressing onto his. The kiss was sweet and there was no way Sirius would be the one to pull away first, but he also did not want to push further. Arms were wrapped around him, and Remus let out a soft sigh as Sirius allowed him to gently pull his lips apart.  
Sirius could feel how Remus' body began to shake underneath him and he gently pulled back. "Don't..." Remus' pleading almost got to him until he saw that the man was crying silent tears. He wanted to wipe them away, make him feel better, but he had nothing to do it with, and so he kept on staring at him, his hand on his wet cheek.  
Remus left his eyes closed, his head searching for the comfort of Sirius' palm. "You make it impossible.." he sighed and opened his eyes. "I've never met someone like you."  
Sirius smiled. "Someone so recklessly handsome and dashingly cute?"  
Remus tried for a weak smile. "Just ... I know I really shouldn't and I don't want you to get hurt, but here you are, bleeding and somehow not even bothered.." Sirius was searching for a clue in Remus' face to how this scrape could be such a big deal.  
"I've most certainly dealt with worse," the words were accented with a chaste kiss placed on Remus' still damp cheek.  
Remus seemed hesitant, maybe even wanting to disagree.  
But instead, he said: "I don't think your ribs agree with sleeping on the couch tonight."  
"Nah, no worries it'll be fine.."  
"Sirius?"  
"Yeah?"  
"I really don't want to sleep alone."  
"Remus, I really need to sleep."  
"Just sleeping."  
"Okay."  
"Okay."

When Remus removed his shirt to lie next to him, Sirius immediately regretted having said that he needed to sleep. But the bed was soft and although it must have been dawn by now, the blinds did not let any light through.  
"Goodnight, Sirius."  
"Goodnight, Remus."  
Like this, they both fell asleep on opposite sides of the bed.


	6. Chapter 6

"Remus! You know where Sirius went?" Dorcas was already through the bedroom door before she realized her mistake. She had woken the men that, during their sleep, had managed to entangle their limbs. "Oh, sorry! Coffee? In the kitchen, okay…"

Sirius sat up and tried to stretch his body, but his bruised ribs screamed in protest. A sharp gasp escaped him and gave his pain away. Remus immediately rose from the sheets and sat up behind him.  
"Let me take a look".  
Hands wrapped around him from behind and Sirius let it happen, his mind still foggy from last night's events and drinks.  
"It looks a lot better, but it's going to take a couple weeks to heal. I'm going to change the bandage."  
Sirius drew the other man's hands tighter around his chest. "Maybe coffee first?"  
"Ok," Remus placed a light kiss on his back, just above the inked lion's head between his shoulder blades.  
"Sorry.."  
Sirius moved around and caught Remus chin gently. "Never be sorry for wanting to kiss me."  
He pressed his lips to the other man's. No matter how foggy his head still was, Remus' kiss had woken the sleeping butterflies in his belly.

"You want to borrow some clothes?" Sirius was still in his boxer shorts, the clothes he wore last night draped around a chair in the living room. "I can wash the clothes you wore last night."  
Sirius smiles at him, "I don't think I fit in your trousers." This gave Remus a reason to check out Sirius' muscular thighs. "Dorcas has some stuff here that might fit. I'll ask her."  
Remus just crawled into his green jumper and made his way to the kitchen.  
As soon as Remus left the bedroom, it felt weird for Sirius to be there. He was surrounded by private things and he did not want to have the time or possibility to go through them. He grabbed one of the pullovers Remus had laid out for him, choosing a washed-out black fruit of the loom one.

"... he does not need a reason to harass people, I just think you should have told me that you are seeing someone..."  
Sirius did not want to listen to the obviously private conversation, so he coughed slightly and entered the kitchen. Dorcas smiled at him, not a trace of her earlier anger directed towards him. Strong coffee was exactly the thing he needed right now.  
Remus was seemingly happy to escape the conversation with Dorcas. "I put your things in the washer and got you some goth clothes." He winked at Sirius and left him with the bartender.  
"So why do you come to the Phoenix when you are dating Remus?" Dorcas' tone let through exactly what she thought of such behavior.  
"We're not dating. Honestly, he made it perfectly clear that he would rather not." Coffee and accusations were a mixture Sirius really could not digest well.

"It doesn't matter anyway," Marlene was standing in the door, her blonde hair up in a bun. "Here," she handed Sirius what looked like a black jersey, leggings, and a black oversized long shirt. "The leggings might be a bit short".  
Sirius smiled at her, secretly thanking her for saving him from Dorcas interrogation. "Thank you."  
"No problem. Remus wanted to take a shower, but he said he should change your bandage. Maybe give him 5 minutes."  
Marlene moved to Dorcas, pressing a brief kiss to her pouting mouth.  
In Sirius' mind, the five minutes stretched and he emptied his coffee and refused other breakfast. A quick look on his phone told him that Lily and James had tried to reach him.  
"I'm at Remus'- everything's fine. Do enjoy the weekend. See you on Monday." Sirius knew that the text message was nothing that could lift his friends' concern, but he really had nothing to tell them anyway.

It was clear that Marlene and Dorcas had to talk, but did not want to do it in front of him.  
"I think I will get changed..." Sirius was out of the door, when Marlene called after him. "Sirius, I think you guys should talk."

Sirius knocked on the bathroom door, and entered when he heard Remus' call to come in. He apparently just had left the shower, but already had put on a pair of trunk shorts. Sirius tried not to smile at the displayed almost-nakedness. Remus really was quite skinny, but in this fit, lean way, with every muscle visible. He frotted his curls and did not seem to be bothered with the other's curious looks. There were some scars that Sirius had not noticed before, some on his right arm, others sprinkled on his right side, but all quite similar to each other, healed over but still sharp.

It was the same procedure as last night. Remus disinfected Sirius' scratches and put some ointment on the bruises, with the difference that they both were in their underwear this time around and it only made it much harder for Sirius not to think about how much he wanted the other man. So much so, that he tried to limit the thoughts to a minimum to not create a visible bulge in his boxers. As the bandage was fixed, Sirius turned to detach from the other man, trying to escape the painfully pleasant contact. But Remus caught his arm and pulled him closer for a kiss. This time it was not a soft kiss. There was biting, and pulling, and Sirius could feel his own erection building up, Remus' hard-on pressed against him. Everything about this was delicious.  
Everything, except, "Remus, as much as I like this. I think we should talk?" Unbelievable, that he was the rational one in this pairing.  
Remus let go of him, a frustrated sigh leaving his swollen lips.  
"Hey there,'' Sirius was pulling him in his arms again. "Not even I get my dick sucked before the first date."  
"Who said I was going to suck your dick?" A mischievous smile formed on Remus' lips and his words were turned into a smart ass joke. "Okay, then let's get dressed. I can't concentrate when your abs are showing."

Dorcas and Marlene had cleared the kitchen to give them space. It was better this way, not to be stuck in a room with a bed or with a lockable door.  
Remus fried eggs and they ate in silence, emptying the coffee pot with their breakfast.  
"Are you ready to talk now?" Sirius did not mean to push, but it was clear that Remus was not going to start unless he did first.  
"I was a college kid, trying to figure out ... stuff," his hand gestures were totally out of control and Sirius had to smile at the sight. "Well anyway, I met a guy and as it turned out it was the wrong guy.'' He looked down at his empty plate.  
"It's ok ..."  
"Please don't. It's just easier if I don't get interrupted."  
"He was a bouncer at the Phoenix, replacing Mad-Eye who had to get surgery after he got between a fight in front of the club - some homophobic assholes trying to frighten some guest. At first, it was amazing, he was gallant and handsome and he bought me dinner ..." Remus grabbed his cup only to see that it was empty.  
"It was only small things at first, no intimacy in public, jealousy, forbidding me to see certain friends, wanted me to not use public transport. The sex got rougher and the romantic gestures stopped. We did not go out anymore. And of course, I was not allowed to go to the Phoenix, not even to meet up with Dorcas and Marlene. One night, Dorcas called me, said that Fenrir had lashed out in the club. Marlene went to calm him down and he hit her hard ... she fell, had to go to the hospital and get stitches.... sorry I think I need a cigarette."  
He got up, searching through a kitchen drawer and two minutes later they were both smoking, sharing the last coffee out of Sirius mug.  
"They called the police, but Greyback had bailed and they told me to get out of the flat, to go somewhere safe. When I opened the apartment door, he was already there. He was crying and shaking and I took him in. I should not have confronted him about Marlene. He started yelling that I went behind his back, calling me a faggot and worse. He started to search the flat for a secret lover hiding in my closet or wherever…. After he could not find any trace of that, he got a knife and started to cut open pillows and throwing stuff. I was so taken aback. I could not believe that I let such a person in my life and hadn't realized it... I just stood there unable to think or do anything. The only thought in my mind was 'what will he do next?' He kissed me and when I could not bring myself to kiss him back, he pushed me into the glass door of the kitchen." Remus' fingers automatically wandered to his scarred arm.  
"That is where the police found me, lying in the shards and bleeding. Dorcas had called them when she did not hear back from me."

Remus stamped out his cigarette, smiling at Sirius, smiling like people did when they just had told something horrible and tried to make it seem like it wasn't that bad.  
"Of course he was long gone. I thought he must have left the city. But he hadn't, he was still around, following me and Marlene. Leaving notes and calling. When I changed my number, he sent more notes. The police probably did their best, but I talked to a young officer I knew from the Phoenix, and he slipped that Greyback had very good friends in high positions.  
Two weeks after the incident, there was a fire at the Phoenix. It was clear that he had help. The only reason why nobody got hurt was that Dorcas had finally convinced Dumbledore that it was not safe to open the club when Greyback was still out there. They caught him two weeks later, he had jumped a gay couple in the park at the main station, too bad one of them was the son of a city official. He was charged with 3 cases of assault and got 6 years. The day after the conviction, there was a dead snake nailed to my front door. This when I knew that his friends were still out there watching me."  
Sirius gasped. A dead snake, literally a dead snake. If Remus noticed this small outburst, he ignored it and kept on talking. It was like he wanted to get it all out in one piece. "He got out two weeks ago."  
"Remus ..." Sirius was at a loss for words. He did not do serious, he was not used to having to do it. But he wanted to try. "I am so sorry that happened to you." It was the best he could come up with.  
"You can understand now why I could not go out with you?" Remus' gaze held the underlying meaning of the question. It was an apology, an explanation, but it left Sirius baffled.  
"Does this mean you have not dated in 6 years?"  
"This means, I don't want anyone else to get hurt."  
Sirius shook his head. "That's just not fair."  
He had not wanted to react so emotionally, but the feeling was building up in his chest and he needed to let them out. "You cannot go through your life being afraid like that. They can't do that to you.." Tears were building up in his eyes and Remus' expression immediately changed from calm to alarmed.  
"Sirius it's ok ..." but the words did not even reach him.  
"They can't define your life like that!" He was yelling at this point, and Remus could hear Dorcas and Marlene already moving towards the kitchen. "Sirius, listen... I made this decision for myself. I made the decision not to move away. I made the decision to stay and take over my dad's dental office and take care of my mother and keep my old friends. I made all of that decisions by myself." He was not yelling, but his voice was firm and his tone had changed to a sincere baritone.  
Remus' firm tone calmed Sirius down a bit. "I told you it was too soon to tell you about my traumas." there were still tears in the corners of his eyes. They hugged.  
"Everything all right here?"  
"Yeah thank you, Dorcas. Everything is ok."  
"Sorry to interrupt you bonding, but Mad-Eye just called. The police messed up big time. Because Marlene does not work at the Phoenix anymore, it wasn't part of Greyback's parole agreements. So there is no ground of arrest him since he did not hurt anyone." Dorcas slipped in a dramatic pause. "This time," she clicked her tongue in disgust.  
Sirius scanned Remus' face for a reaction; it seemed that he thought hard about the best thing to say. "Sirius, I understand that you probably want to head home, but I think it would be for the best if you stayed."  
They had not had time to talk about the whole thing. Sirius had mostly listened and then, as it was his manner, had yelled about the injustice of having someone else dictate one's life. So, Sirius nodded. Remus' face lit up immediately. "Wanna watch a movie?"  
His smile was just contagious. "Can it count as our first date?"

To select a movie with someone who you just met was particularly one of Sirius' least favorite things to do. Either the other had already a movie in mind and there really was no way around it, or they wanted to watch one of their favorite movies you had confessed to have never watched, which meant you really needed to pay attention and like it, otherwise there would be drama, OR the other let choose you with the likelihood that the whole dilemma was just reversed.  
"What have we both seen and liked and want to watch again without having to pay too much attention or feel bad when we fall asleep?"  
Sirius chuckled, amazed by the other's question. Remus placed his laptop in front of Sirius, for him to scroll through the "watch again" section of Remus' Netflix. He already saw similarities in their watching habits, as well as some things he would not have confessed of watching, at least, not on a first date.  
"Remus does somebody else use your login?" to be fair, there was already a burst of laughter caught in his question.  
Remus looked over his shoulder, the cursor still hovering over a documentary on dog shows.  
"Ahmmm yes! My great-aunt sometimes does."  
The laughter exploded in Sirius' throat, "No she doesn't, you are full of shit!"  
"Okay, I really like dogs!"  
This made Sirius laugh even harder. "Stop it!"  
But it only made it worse. Remus had to leave the room for Sirius to "cool off."  
When he returned with some snacks, Sirius had already selected something to watch. "I thought your great-aunt would appreciate this."

"I can't believe you selected Downton Abbey."  
It had been awkward at first, not in the most annoying way, it was just that Sirius could not decide how to sit. Was it okay to brush against Remus' knee? Could he show how much he adored the show?  
"Are you silently mouthing all of Maggie Smith's lines?" Remus was already laughing wholeheartedly.  
A glimpse of mischief entered Sirius' stormy eyes. "What are you implying, my dear? Life is a game, where the player must appear ridiculous!"  
Remus' laughter sent the cocoa he had just sipped, through his nose and he coughed. "Lily did say you are of a somewhat posh family. I bet your mum sounds exactly like this!"  
Sirius' laughter faded out abruptly. "Yeah I wish." There was something in the way he said it that made Remus stop laughing.

Remus let his head fall against Sirius' shoulder. "Sorry," the apology was mumbled and hot breath escaped Remus' mouth with it.  
"There is nothing you have to apologize for. We all have our backstories. '' Sirius drew Remus up and their lips met gently. The kiss intensified, hands gripping shoulders and fabric being shifted. Remus' mouth was slowly sucking alongside Sirius' jawline, caressing downwards to reach the others' collarbone. "Remus, I know that your ex being a stalking lunatic should be a total turn off," the raven-haired man's voice was filled with intense pleasure. "... But I really like you."  
In response, his shirt was pulled over his head, a sharp pain shooting through his ribs and he could not help a whine escaping his lips. The shirt was pulled back over his head. "We should definitely stick to injury friendly, first date stuff."  
Remus kissed him again and Sirius whined. This was not fair.

Sirius was woken by a soft, but firm slap in his face. "You little Fuck! Can you please not leave your friends in the dark about being okay after being attacked by a lunatic?"  
Even before opening his eyes, he knew that only one person was able to pair physical assaults with emotional distress and accusations like that. "Fuck off Jamie, I sent you a text." He slowly opened his eyes, missing the warmth of Remus on his side.  
"A short text message from your phone that has no password and you did not reply since." James looked distressed, sharing his expression with Dorcas who was standing next to him.  
"Remus, help me they are being mean friends!" Sirius was yelling, not knowing where Remus had gone, and did not anticipate a yelled answer from the kitchen. "I am on their side!"  
James was pressured into taking over the cooking after Remus wanted to serve spaghetti with ketchup. It took the whole meal to fill him in on the situation. Thankfully, James was a really good listener, another thing he trained himself to be to impress Lily. "So, Greyback is on the loose and he is some kind of street gangster?"  
"We don't know exactly, but we don't think he's just a street gangster. We think he's running with the Death Eaters."  
Sirius, who had been watching Remus and was not really paying too much attention to the conversation, suddenly was drawn back into it.  
"He runs with the Death Eaters?"  
Remus and Dorcas nodded.  
Sirius' eyes met James'. "That's actually really good news."

Remus and Dorcas' facial expressions changed from serious to puzzled.  
Sirius did not know how to start explaining and James jumped in. "So basically Sirius is the disinherited heir of the Black business empire, which is one of the biggest sponsors of the Death Eaters and its boss."  
Remus and Dorcas' mouths dropped at the same time, but only Remus was fast enough to close it to actually respond. "Your family gives money to this weapon trading, drug selling, homophobic fuck Tom Riddle?"  
"Let's say they are business partners," Sirius had never been happier to have family ties to the underground. "My brother will definitely not stand for a family member being harassed by a street organization, not even if the family member is me."

"What do you mean by your brother will not stand for it? Surely, he won't have him killed?"  
James let out what was supposed to be a reassuring "Nooo," but Remus' eyes wandered to Sirius and he was not sure that he shared his best friends' optimism.  
"Will they?"  
"I don't think that it would be worth the effort," Sirius stretched his hand out to reach Remus' and intertwined their fingers. How did an infected sulcus lead to him being forced to contact his brother about removing one of his foot soldiers from the heels of the man he clearly was falling in love with?  
"So, I am going to make a call then?"  
Dorcas, who had been suspiciously silent for the last few minutes, stirred. "Don't forget about Marlene." Sirius recognized the flame of protecting a loved one in her voice and nodded solemnly.

Closing the kitchen door behind him, Sirius told himself that calling his brother on this favor wasn't a big deal. Surely, Sirius' safety was of his concern, as was his happiness. The latter assumption baring a big question mark.  
There was just one peep before the call was answered. "Is it my birthday already?" Regulus' rough voice sounded amused.  
"Hey, Reg", without any hesitation Sirius had slipped into the old brotherly intimacy they used to share. There was no answer.  
"Actually, I am calling on family business."  
"I will call you back."

Minutes later, an unknown caller ID lit up on Sirius' phone.  
"You know that my calls might also be still recorded?"  
"My sources say they stopped after you were disinherited and publicly beaten to a pulp by our father."  
"I think the beating came first ... also our father's security."  
"Same difference."  
There was a pause.  
"You never called after the accident. You didn't even come to the funeral."  
"I didn't want to come."  
"Mother left you a giant painting of her. The one that was painted for her 20th birthday. The one in which you look so much alike"  
"Clearly to taunt me. I don't want it."  
"Clearly."  
There was another pause.  
Sirius had thought it would be easier, that it would be a normal business transaction like calling in at a fancy restaurant for making reservations. But it wasn't, was it? How should he ask something of his estranged brother?"  
"Sirius, what do you want?"  
"I need a favor."  
There was the harsh Black laughter at the other end of the line, a laughter Regulus had inherited from his father, long before his untimely death that left the younger Black to be the sole heir of their empire.  
"You need money?"  
"No, I don't need money,'' Sirius' voice turned bitter, it was always about money in his family. Money and pride and he was not interested in any of it.  
"I met someone ..."  
"I'm not sponsoring your dream wedding, Sirius"  
"IT IS NOT ABOUT MONEY!" That was it. That was the reason he never called. "I need a favor because I met someone that has a history with one of Riddle's henchman. He won't let him alone and it affects his life, his friends and me."  
His demand was only met with silence.  
"It's Fenrir Greyback."  
Laughter again, but this time it was more like Sirius remembered Regulus laughter to be. "That is one very unlucky boyfriend choice."  
"He was young and ..."  
"I meant for you, Sirius," the patronizing tone was mixed with a hint of pity.  
"Are you able to help me or not?" It was a rhetorical question. Sirius knew he was, but there was still the question if he was willing.

"I am sure that Greyback could be of use in another city. Maybe there is even a promotion in order."  
Sirius let out a sigh of relief.  
"That is if that is enough for you lovebirds?"  
Another city? Was this really enough? "I am sure you'll find the right incentive for him to never harass him and his friends again?"  
"So, in the end, you are asking for money? Or is it violence you propose?"  
With this, Regulus had him in the corner he wanted him in. "I believe you are in a better position to decide the measurements to be taken, you being in upper management and all."  
"Yes, I think so too. They know they are not allowed to cross you."  
Deep down, Sirius had known of course, but being confronted with the fact that he was still entangled with the affairs of his family made him shiver.  
Regulus sighed. "Of course, you are still my brother, you are the only person who knows what it was like to grow up with them, and I would never demand a favor in return."  
"Here comes the catch."  
"No, no catch. Just ... forget it."  
"What is it, Reg?"  
"I am glad for you". In his words, Sirius recognized the softness of his younger brother, the softness of whispering secrets in the dark, back when they were children.  
"Reg ... take care of yourself."  
"I got staff for that"  
A single laugh escaped Sirius.  
"And Sirius?"  
"Yes?"  
"Give James my best." with that, the line was broken.


	7. Chapter 7

Remus' eyes lit up when he saw Sirius leaning at the lamp post in front of his office building. "You know you can come up so that you don't have to wait in the cold, right?"  
"I prefer not to,'' Sirius kept himself from running his tongue over the line of his crowns and smiled, instead leaning in to properly greet his boyfriend. He could sense the trace of hesitation within the other man before he returned the kiss.  
"Sorry", Remus blushed. "I am still not used to being able to do his."  
"According to my count, this will be our 28th date out of infinite dates, so you have all the time in the world to get used to it."  
Remus blushed even harder. "I don't know about your counting skills".  
"As long as you like my dating skills?" Sirius grinned and revealed a box of Belgian chocolates underneath his coat.  
"You are spoiling me."  
"You are spoiling me!"  
"Oh, how's so?"  
"By being so goddamn sexy."

"Oi you fuckers, can you just stop with the sugar fluff for one second and hurry a bit, we are cold!" The insult was delivered with a grin, and Remus turned to followed Dorcas and Malene.  
“Come on love, James will be pissed if the food is overcooked because we are too late".  
Sirius sighed and followed the pull of his boyfriend’s light.

**Author's Note:**

> leave me some love aka. kudos and comments if you liked it - its balm on my fangirl soul


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